When was the last time you took a deep breath in and reminded yourself to slow down and take a look around? Wearing Pandora charms as pretty little reminders.
Wearing: Zaful crop top,* Missguided skirt,* Minskat Copenhagen Mini Liz bag,* Adidas Superstar sneakers
Don’t let your limiting self thoughts dictate the way you live your life. Some simple steps on how to be more carefree.
It’s true. Life is 110% more fun and enjoyable when you don’t care what other people think.
When I was a child, I was too busy climbing trees and digging in the dirt to spare a thought about what anyone thought of my brightly coloured 80s style clothes or what car my parents were driving. And I’m sure most other children before the 00s were like this too.
When you’re a child, you hardly have a sense of opinion yourself, so why would the thought of other people’s thoughts cross your mind? I never used to judge others a child so I guess I thought no one was judging me.
This carefree way of living carried all the way to about my second last year of primary school and then I went to high school. Where things changed drastically. It was a totally different world.
If I could have given myself one piece of advice for back then, it would have been, you do you.
If you went to high school, no matter whether you had lots of friends or none, it was probably one of the most brutal times of your life. No one likes to admit it, but high school is no easy feat. There’s no point in living with regrets but if I could have just focussed on my opinions of myself instead of what others thought about me, I think it would have been a lot more enjoyable.
Even after high school, it’s easy to get caught up in the thoughts of others. It’s hard not to when we’re so conditioned by media to care about trivialities based on looks and status, but it can be done.
You look at movies like Mean Girls and think they’re totally blown out of proportion, but they’re not that far away from the realities of high school.
If I could have realised back then that my opinion of myself was, is, will always, be the most important one, then things would have been a lot different. Once you realise that no one besides you can live your life, it’s easy to make slow and steady changes based on what your true self wants.
A lot of people base their career choices on what their parents wanted for themselves or for prestige, but then end up working jobs they hate. If you make choices based on family, friends or society, you can’t expect to find happiness.
If you know what you want in life, you need to make that decision because you’re the one who has to live with it. Your parents may be disappointed in the short term and you might not have a glamorous job that society commends, but valuing your own opinion of yourself more than those of others will allow you to be more carefree and ultimately, happy.
ABOVE: Pandora Festival Collection bracelets and Spiritual Symbols ring
If I could have changed the way I used to respond to situations, I would have shrugged it all off as if it didn’t matter. Instead, I focussed attention on these little things that shouldn’t have mattered and it added fuel to fire. Everything would always get so much worse than it should have been and it would all snowball from there.
What you think, you become.
What you feel, you attract.
What you imagine, you create.
– Buddha.
One of the easiest ways to change your mindset is to tell yourself you already are, what you want to be. I am a big believer (and nutcase as my brother would put it) in manifesting through thought. I always knew in this as child but somewhere along the journey of growing up, I just forgot about it.
Think about it, ever have one of those days where something goes wrong in the morning and then it’s all downhill from there? It’s because when one thing goes wrong, we get irritated, then something else doesn’t go to plan as a result of it, then it just snowballs and you end up thinking you’re misfortunate or it’s just a shitty day when really, it’s your thoughts making the day so bad. It might be easier to stay in a state of anger or frustration because that’s how you feel in the moment but you could also just take accept it, shrug it off and smile. Try it next time and see how it works out for you.
What does this have to do with being carefree? If your thoughts can dictate your reality, then why not pretend you’re carefree? The more you practice this, even when you really feel anxious or uneasy about anything on the inside, it becomes second nature. Fake it until you make it, am I right? Practice how you want to feel on the inside and watch it manifest on the outside. Practice makes perfect and trust me, it’s very unlikely anyone will notice or even care. Which brings me to my next tip.
If I didn’t care about what people thought about me so much in high school, I very much think that no one else would have cared either. Instead I made myself a target by giving too much care to things that shouldn’t have mattered.
We’ve all heard this so many times, but most people are just too absorbed in themselves to care about anyone else. Of course there are exceptions, but how will they affect you? I mean, how many times do you judge others for their clothings choices or how they look? Probably hardly ever. You should be busy worrying about yourself.
And if you’re constantly judging people please, go read this article and come when you’re feeling a little less critical.
Anyway, I digress. Most people don’t care and you probably won’t see the rest ever again anyway. So why are you so hung up on being judged?
It’s easy to lose imagination when every one is so glued to their screen these days.
The only video games we had as children were a computer (the kind you needed to type codes and commands in let the computer know what you wanted to do) and my cousin’s old Super Nintendo. Even so, we were only allowed so much screen time so I spent most of my time digging in dirt, cutting up my mum’s flowers and climbing trees, pretending I lived in a jungle. Now when I look around, I see kids everywhere with iPads, phones and portable gaming consoles.
Now we’re too worried about things that shouldn’t matter thanks to the rise of social media. How can we remedy our imaginations though? By thinking more like children.
One of my favourite ways to do this, is to go outside and play in the dirt with my son, or when I don’t feel like getting covered in mud, by incorporating more whimsical things into my life. Things like these Pandora pieces from their festival collection. Like I mentioned before, I used to have a really outlandish sense of style, but since blogging, I fell into the all black, all white outfit combination routines and lost my own sense of style. These Pandora pieces though, are definitely something I would have loved as a child with their pastel rainbow colours and playful charms.
I also love wearing more playful pieces with different materials and fun colours and prints. Sneakers usually always makes for bringing the inner child out of you too. Prepare for tree climbing and running around like a kid.
It’s little things like this that serve as a reminder to myself not to take life too seriously and to let go and be more carefree.
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with – Jim Rohn.
If this is true (and I undoubtedly believe it is), then find some friends who encompass your own interests and aspirations. It seems like a difficult task, to make new friends, especially as an adult, but when you realise your own truths, you will find that you start attracting the type of people you want in your life.
Partake in fun activities that interest you and you will find a lot of people with similar interests will be into that activity too. I’ve made a lot of friends through blogging this way.
Find out what type of carefree things you want to do, then find out where you can do them with like minded people. It’s a very easy way to make some new friends and learn some new things both about things you might have interests in and yourself.
Find some spontaneous friends and their carefree way of living will eventually rub off on to you.
This might be a morbid way to end such an article, but just take a moment to realise that we’re all going to die in the end anyway. Remembering that we’re all here by a mistake is probably the easiest way for me to regain my carefree attitude. Why live your life according to other people’s standards and expectations? Everything comes to an end eventually. Even this Earth will, so why not enjoy things the way you want to?
Every time you find yourself a little on the serious side, remember to take a moment to create a moment because if we all did things by the book without any spontaneity, life would be a very boring event and everything would slip by unnoticed.
This year, I’ve had a lot of crazy realisations. Thanks Kylie…
The first of which relates to attitude. Like I mentioned in a previous post on how to be girl boss, I grew up being pretty spoilt. You can imagine how this would result in me losing my temper when things didn’t go my way.
This year I’ve really been focusing on being more mindful. Mindful of how my actions affect the others, mindful of how my habits may impact upon the environment, mindful of what goes on my plate (ok, so this one has been a little more difficult for me) and more mindful of my own emotions and attitude.
Anger is a natural response to a perceived provocation. It’s a protective mechanism, which can cover up emotions and vulnerability. It can serve as a catalyst for change and it can be helpful in making fast decisions. It’s not the most pleasant of emotions but helpful and necessary in understanding some aspects of life and your self.
While it serves a purpose in certain situations, it doesn’t help to harbour feelings of anger and resentment for any longer than necessary. Identify the problem and move on. Observe it but don’t let it take over.
All is easier said than done though right?
How exactly do you move past feelings of anger?
Walk it off or punch it out. For the most part, I am a pretty chill, low maintenance person. I am also one of those people that sits there and marinates in all of their emotions until something makes me snap. And if you’re the straw that breaks this camel’s back, then you’d better have some heavy armour on because I when I see red, no phone or car is too expensive for me to smash. Now though, I’ve found better ways to channel my anger. Having a punching bag or something else I can smash without doing damage is one way. Going for long solo walks and listening to podcasts is another. I think most of us can connect any song to our emotions and parts of our lives, so finding an interesting or funny podcast is a good way to keep your mind busy from creating even more rage-laden thoughts. A more therapeutic way is to clean. I like putting things away and cleaning up so cleaning when I’m angry is kind of relaxing. Does anyone else do this too?
Take a few deep breaths. It sounds boring, and quite frankly useless, but working on your breathing can work miracles on all sorts of emotional issues like anger, anxiety and hopelessness. Take a deep breath in and remember that you’re here in this present moment and that nothing else (even that test coming up you haven’t studied for) matters right now. Collect all your thoughts then work it from there. Because you really can’t work out anything when you’re huffing and puffing fire out through your nostrils. You need to give the monkey in your mind something to do. But because my monkey brain is too hyper, I like to do some yoga to expend some of my energy at the same time.
Sleep it off. Some of us just need a good nights rest to set everything right. I personally do not sleep a lot but when tiredness begins to strike, I can become incredibly grumpy. My friends liken it to a sooky child who stayed up late at a family party who and has to be carried into bed from the car. But once I’m rested, all is well again in the land of Shannon. I don’t like to hold on to emotions that don’t serve me, so try getting some shut eye and seeing how you feel afterwards can sometimes work just as easily as the reset button on your wifi.
Let it go. Never seen Frozen but I can agree with this sentence. This one takes a bit of practice though. It’s definitely not easy to do if you haven’t trained yourself in doing so. Holding on to resentment towards yourself or anger towards another person does nothing but hurt you own self. It does nothing but hurt your own self. Just think about how difficult it is to change things about yourself. Now think about trying to change other people. You just can’t do it and you can’t change the past. You can create the future though and if you’re mad at someone, either let them know what they did (if they’ll listen) or cut them out. If you’re mad at yourself, work out what went wrong and set little goals on making sure it doesn’t happen again.
What if you’re on the other side of anger though? How do you talk to someone who wants to take your head off and kick it halfway around the world?
It’s not easy to make someone see sense or your point of view when they’re about to explode. Even when you’ve taken on a calm nature. Never mind whether you’re wrong or right. The other person is only going to see what they want to see. The best way is to accept that people only perceive from their own level of consciousness. Ever heard the saying, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink?
If someone is really uncooperative, simply leave them be. They’ll either come around and you’ll be able to sort things out later on or they won’t and you’ll know in your heart if this is someone you’ll really want in your life.
It can be a difficult situation to handle, but anger can arouse changes that may be necessary and help you learn to accept that the only thing we can really control is ourself.
What are your tips in managing anger from both yourself and others? Leave them in the comments so we can all learn something from each other.
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Ana Luisa NY
Handcrafted Designer Jewelry
Free sign-up here ~
Use code Shannon15 to get $15 off.
Having this blog has changed many aspects of my life. When I first started, I was very into fast fashion. Buying into every trend and wearing pieces a few time before the next new thing came out. Then I started getting into those big ticket “investment” purchases. The Alexander Wang bags, the Louis Vuitton wallets. Silk tees and leather belts.
These days though, I’m less into the designer items but still looking for quality. Less into fast fashion but still into being able to change things up when I feel like it. I don’t spend heaps of money on handbags anymore and I don’t jump at every trend that comes out. I think I’ve finally managed to find a balance between what will last throughout the seasons and what I consider to be a reasonable price point for myself. One thing I don’t mind spending a little bit more on though, is jewelry because I think it can easily transform a look.
I have a very erratic style but on most days, I tend to wear a simple jeans and tee outfit which is why I love finding new jewelry brands with limited collections so you know you have something unique.
The newest brand I’m lusting over is Ana Luisa and they were kind enough so send out some pieces, so I thought I would share a review on those kind of luxury pieces you’ve seen popping up all over Instagram lately.
The main point behind Ana Luisa (besides the luxurious and beautiful designs) is the elimination of the middle man. In short, luxury jewelry is available at an affordable price point with the same quality of these big name brands you might spend up to fifteen times more on.
Ana Luisa works with the best in the business too, with designers that used to work for brands like Kenzo, Alexander Wang, Tory Burch and Ralph Lauren, so you know what you’re getting is extra special. These days, it seems like everything has a handcrafted label attached to it, but these pieces truly feel different from most other pieces.
So you can also experience the luxuriousness of Ana Luisa, I’m giving away two of the Olivia Pink Earrings (pictured right), but more on that towards the end.
Like I mentioned above, most days I opt for a simple outfits because they’re practical and I’m kind of lazy when it comes to getting dressed. I do have a few cheats I use for not looking like a total hobo though:
– Style your hair. I have straight (sometimes wavy) hair so I can get away with just brushing it. If you’ve got super curly hair or unmanageable hair, throwing it into a messy bun is an easy way to create that effortless chic look.
– Add some mascara. I used to never be able to leave the house without a full face of makeup but now I’ve worked out that a swipe of mascara can really open your eyes and make you look fresh faced. Even when you don’t have to time to dot on concealer or apply a light layer of foundation. I used to always need eyeliner but mascara doesn’t require that same level of precision that a wing does and you can do it pretty much anywhere.
– Tuck your top in and roll up the ends of your sleeves. This is just something that instantly makes you look polished. Even if you just tuck the front of your tee in, it can completely transform the look of an outfit. If you’re wearing a long sleeved top, rolling the ends of the sleeves up is another way to add that luxe look to an otherwise simple outfit.
– Accessorise with quality pieces. I don’t have a huge jewelry collection but that’s because I prefer quality over quality. Adding gold some bangles is an easy way to add some sophistication to an outfit. I love these Olivia Pink Earrings with a plain white tee and jeans outfit. Simple but chic. I also love stacking rings because it always looks so luxe. You could probably get away with pyjamas in public by doing this.
– Find the right footwear. Let’s be honest here. Most of us would probably never wear heels again if we didn’t think a certain occasion didn’t call for it. I even try to get into clubs with sneakers because I’d really rather have comfortable feet and almost never enjoy myself when my feet feel like they are about to fall off. If you’re wearing nice jewelry though, you can pretty much get away with most types of shoes. I love wearing trainers with bangles or statement earrings or flats with a delicate crystal necklace.
My favourite low-key outfit is jeans and a tee with trainers. Then I load up on the rings and maybe add a pair of statement earrings. If I feel like I need that extra bit of sophistication, I’ll go for a crystal necklace and bangles instead. The options are endless, but when you have a well-curated collection of jewelry, it all just depends on you mood.
What are your favourite ways to dress up without dressing up?
One of my favourite things about Ana Luisa is that the pieces are limited and are unique designs, so there’s hardly any chance of you bumping into someone else with the same piece.
There are a heap more benefits that come with the brand though.
And signing up and membership is free by the way.
You get unlimited to access to all the collections and trust me, there are some gorgeous pieces in there. I’m currently eyeing the Voyage rings collection and if you love bohemian style, you’ll definitely want to check out this collection.
Membership also comes with a one year warranty on all purchases. I doubt that you’ll need it though because the pieces I have feel solid enough that even I probably wouldn’t wreck them.
You get gifts! Members get a surprise gift with every purchase. If that’s not enough to sign up for free, then I don’t know what it. I love surprise gifts (that’s as far as surprises go for me). What surprise will your receive?
Every fifth piece of jewelry is free. I don’t buy a tonne of jewelry online but I definitely have not come across another jewelry brand that practically gives jewelry away.
They reward their members for being creative. Tag your creative Ana Luisa pictures on Instagram and get rewarded.
Still not convinced of the quality? Keep scrolling down.
While the Janet ring is my favourite piece (I’m a sucker for gold and moonstones), the Olivia Pink earrings come in at a close second. So much that I wanted to keep a pair of them to myself.
But I really want you to experience the luxury of Ana Luisa so I’m giving away two pair to two lucky readers.
All you have to do is:
Sign up here to make an account.
Comment below to let me know you’ve done that.
The winner will be drawn on the 13th July 2018.
Good luck!
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It seems like every girl and her mother these days is talking about being a girlboss, but no -one is really telling you how to be a girlboss. Besides letting everyone know you’re in charge with a slogan tee, read on to find out what else you can do to kick some ass Sophie Amoruso style.
Shannon Valle
Life and style blogger
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Perth, Australia | Bangkok, Thailand
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"The things we buy to cover up what's inside"
- Kanye West
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I could type a lot of bullshit here but, I'm subject to change and whatever you might hear about me is probably much more interesting.
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